I wrote this out at church yesterday:
I took a Provigil today. I still napped for a couple hours right after, but I don't think I feel the same level of dead tired. I am going to finish writing this and then pay full attention in church to see if I stay awake.
I am scared that it won't work, scared that it will. I worry that there won't be anything wrong with me, that I am just lazy. Or that I am messed up, and will have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life to feel normal. I am scared of this. Scared I will like the pills too much, or that they won't work. I might be allergic to them. My brother is. He broke out in terrible hives/welts/boils when he tried Provigil. I only have enough for about two weeks, and then a "stepping off" period. And then a bit more to adjust to a big time change.
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